I did it. I finally did it! This week, I quit my part-time W2 job and took the leap into joining Peanut Butter Creative full time. I cannot believe it! This not-so-little-business-anymore has been nearly 4 years in the making for us and we can officially announce that it's not a side gig any longer! Woo hoo!
While it has certainly felt like the longest journey for Becca and I, it feels totally right for us now. Those long nights working until 2 am, spending every weekend soaking up client work that I couldn't get to during the week, the back to back phone calls, the dinners where I couldn't put my cell phone down for even a moment - that is all changing for me and it is all because I put my full heart into doing what I love. It has not been an easy process, transition or something that's happened overnight but with a lot of motivation, a little strategy and extra dedication, I stopped making excuses and just went for it.
Becca and I set a goal at the beginning of the year that I would go full time at PBC in October and here it was, August ending, September on the horizon, and still I had no real plan to execute the idea. Days passed as I started to realize the feelings I was having about working at my 9-5 weren't positive ones. I was stressed out, I was tired, I was unmotivated, and not just once in a while but all of the time. I am typically a bubbly and positive person so when I was getting to this point constantly, I was so sick of talking about quitting and knew I needed to sit down and figure out my plan. Honestly, some of the work I was doing at my 9-5 was work that I love - graphic design, website design, collateral design, etc. but, a lot of tasks were things I didn't love - administrative tasks, busy work not to mention my hour-long commute. I realized that I would still love to design for this company, just on my terms and under my own direction, from my own home office.
With a lot of motivation from my family, friends and hubby-to-be, they gave me the push that I needed along with the "well if that's what you want to do, why don't you just do it?" talk. So, I decided to just do it. I put together a proposal to my boss outlining my reasons for changing my career and proposed adding her company on as PBC's client - where I would still be able to do the things I loved, graphic design, website design and collateral design. I listed out the ways her company would benefit, organized a new job position for the duties I was no longer available for and.... she accepted! I honestly couldn't believe it, but when I finally accepted all of the obvious signs that were being thrown my way, I was able to see that things were falling into place for me because it was supposed to happen this way. This was exactly where I was meant to be.
It is not easy to just "decide" to not be nervous, to not be scared, to not worry about what's next - those are natural feelings that nearly everyone with emotions experiences at some point in their lives. Instead of trying to not feel those things, I think what helped me the most was consciously producing positive and uplifting thoughts and feelings to guide me to work through the not-so-great emotions about quitting my job. Changing the idea that "I won't have the steady income I've been counting on" into "if "I will have so much more time to dedicate to bring in income doing something I love". Altering the thought that "my boss will hate me forever for leaving the company high and dry" to "I know I will still be able to create wonderful things for this business and I can leave the other work up to someone who is just as passionate about admin work as I am about design". I made the conscious decision to not let these negative thoughts and emotions consume my life, and once I flooded my thoughts with positive ones, my mindset began to shift.
This whole experience has taught me to just go for it - when the worst that could happen is for someone to say "no", it only means that if it's not the right fit, it wasn't meant for you in the first place. Take that no and let it fuel your motivation to find your perfect YES. I have always been an advocate of living your life to the fullest, which was the reason Becca and I started Peanut Butter Creative in the first place. We wanted to do what we loved every single day - designing and creating magic. If you have something that's been pulling on your heart - whether that's in life or work - I encourage you to strongly consider just going for it. Give yourself the talk... what is the worst thing that could happen? I promise that the little scary steps along the way are worth it but above all, you and your life are worth it. No dream is too big, no "no" can stop you.